beautiful things

The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very mean and nasty place, and I don't care how tough you are. It will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit. It's about how hard you can GET hit and KEEP MOVING FORWARD. How much you can TAKE and KEEP MOVING FORWARD. That's how winning is done. You've gotta be willing to take the hits, and NOT pointing fingers saying you ain't where you want to be because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and THAT AIN'T YOU. YOU'RE BETTER THAN THAT.

—Rocky Balboa

Things in my suite have been insane, I've been getting slammed with work a lot, school hasn't been going amazingly (and I didn't get much sleep at all this well.). Sometimes I wonder if it's worth it. I wonder what I live for. I wonder if my life's worth living, I wonder if my life's worth living - because I know I'm not living it to my full potential, and I wonder all of that, even though I have my education paid for, a roof over my head (even if there is a lot of ridiculous and unnecessary drama going on under it right now), and decent friends (though there's a lot of drama there too), and I have stressful internships, but at least I'm working and getting experience, and that's more than I can say for so many unemployed people. I have someone who loves me regardless of ALL my faults, of which there are so many. I have so much, and by no means am I ungrateful, and that's when I start to realize that I'm being weak. It's human nature to complain about what we have, and not realize just how much we have. It's human nature to want to point fingers and place blame - elsewhere or at ourselves; even placing the blame on myself doesn't help. Life doesn't work that way; you can't place the blame for the fact that life sucks on anybody. Life does suck. It's no one's fault. Life always sucks. That's when I realize that I, like everybody else on the planet and their human nature, give up too easily. I don't hold on to the amazing willpower that I know I have. I give up and give in too easily, and whenever the going gets tough, I think about how "it shouldn't have to be this way" and how it's so unfair that it is this way, and how I don't deserve this crap from life. Well, nobody deserves the crap they get from life, but we all get the same crap. Life dishes out crap. Life is crap. It's what you make of it that counts. What separates the winners from the losers is the ability to take the crap and FIND the beauty in it, or CREATE the beauty in it. What separates the fittest in the world, from the weakest, is the ability to not crumble under the mental pressure of the weakness and the unfairness of life, and the ability to not crumble under the thought that "I'm just a mere human, wtf am I going to be able to achieve in the world?" - A lot, if you let yourself. That very thought is self-fulfilling - think it, and you'll sabotage yourself and you'll never achieve everything that you can. I've made some unhealthy choices, and I always said I was going to screw up (like everyone expected me to) and die young. Then I questioned why I was working so hard NOW, if I was going to die young anyway. And I reasoned, I should stop working so hard and just give up right now. But the truth is, I DON'T want to give up, nor do I really want to die young. It's just a defense mechanism I use, because I'm so afraid of not living up to my full potential and expectations. But I should make the choices I need to make so that I can live longer (healthier choices, emotionally etc), because I've spent far too long already dreaming and refusing to let myself take the chances I need to to make those dreams a reality. Life sucks, but giving up is weak. Weakness (not to be confused with vulnerability) is one of the most negative attributes in humans, and while I recognize that I might feel that way from time to time, I'm better than that. Being weak is human nature, and people give in to that human nature all the time, and I can't fault people for that. But human nature does not dictate our choices. At least, it doesn't dictate mine anymore. I work so hard so I can be successful, and that's me. I'm not ready to give up, so just because I have thoughts of weakness doesn't mean that life's not worth it at the end. That part of human nature, to give up, give in, stop working, maybe even die rather than live, exists in me, and I acknowledge it, but I refuse to entertain it, and that, I suppose, is what makes all the difference between the strong and the weak in the world. At the end of the day, if I don't keep living, I'll never find out what I could've been, for good or bad, and I'm too curious for that. I've always been hopeful, actually. It's one of my best characteristics. I just need to stop keeping it suppressed in the fear that nothing will come out of that hope and that maybe hoping isn't worth it. I need to just really let my hope flag fly free and keep in mind that there's always a reason to keep going and that giving up means you're not strong enough to ask for help when you need it. Giving up is the easy way, and nothing that's really worth having ever came easy. Life's a privilege, not a birthright, so I guess we don't "deserve" better than the crap we get - not to say that we deserve the crap either, but we as a species should take life for whatever it is, crap or not, because our very existence in the world is a privilege and blessing, not a birthright.

Random thoughts of the day. There's been way too much drama in my life lately, and things have been tough, but I've never been more inspired to keep on working and make things work out and to just adjust my perspective on life as I need to in order to keep going. ...It's been a long week. I can't explain the above without getting into too many personal details, but my suitemate and guy I love and other friends and even school and work have all been involved in some way or another.

Let's just say I've taken a few hits from life lately but I'm back on my feet; it is worth getting back on your feet after a few hits, and I'm ready to keep on walking forward. I'm not ready to die young, I'm not ready to give up, and therefore, I'm not going to.  

Unwritten

Lovin' the multicultural imagery in this video... sidenote: I kinda wanna visit Tibet. And indulge in Thailand's culture (not just its awesome shopping...) and see the Great Wall of China.... but I should really hit closer to home and first go take a walk on the Brooklyn Bridge... all the way across to actual Brooklyn, where I've only been once, and that was by Subway.) I also love her hair, and her green crop top (which is in vogue again for Fall 2011, just by the way), and I love the song! It's energetic and just kind of awesome. The imagery of dirty, rainy windows is cool too (I'm a writer. I'm inspired by the weirdest things. Let it go.) But then I love the image of weak and slowly-strengthening sunshine (internal, represented externally) breaking the clingy film of rain on the window... this is starting to sound like an english essay now, sorry :| but HERE. Watch it and just love it, instead of overanalyzing it, like you're supposed to. (I mean that's why I both love/hate writing: love it, cause I can express what I see and feel in words, or I can express my inability to express what I see/feel in words, but I hate overanalyzing everything instinctively instead of just LIVING and experiencing it. Ah, the dilemma of a writer... this shit's harder than science majors realize. THEY get to just live once they're out of lab... sort of. I have science major friends who overanalyze everything biochemically, and that almost seems worse than overanalyzing everything with words.) There. Now you've also been subject to my random tangent of the day, which, if you actually follow my blog, you know I do quite often. Now, we can move on :P

Wavy hair with a flatiron: tutorial

Suchhhhh an awesome cool video! I will definitely be trying this when I don't have such a busy day (I have SUCH a long list of things to do tomorrow, and I CANNOT risk a bad hair day because I have no time to fix it! And I don't even have any time to try this tomorrow morning :( --my hair should be fine if I flatiron it slightly tomorrow! It's quick, easy, takes 5 minutes and I use a flatiron every day so there's no potential for mistakes, unlike this style.) But I hope you guys enjoy, and I will definitely try this -Thursday night IF I go out, and just generally over the weekend, during "me" time, if I don't go out specifically on Thursday (might go out Saturday or so regardless...) Hope you like it; I just stumbled upon it while googling how to get waves in hair (my hair's naturally wavy but straight right now, and I wanted a different look for tomorrow, but now I'm just too lazy and afraid that if it comes out wrong, I'll have NO time to fix/undo the look. And bad hair days put me in a grouchy mood ALLLLL day.) On a sidenote, I totally want to try the Chi heat-protecting serium. And the hold/shine serum I have from Victoria's Secret (will post product image at some point...) is way better than that yellow stuff. Just sayin'. But I love the tutorial, and trust me, you will love this lifesaver after watching too! It's a whole new style in like, 5 minutes!
xoxo... you know you love me ;) (who's keeping up with Gossip Girl Season 5?! That baby is so totally Chuck's, but Blair's just holding onto the shreds of her princess dream -and the shreds of her dignity- by telling the world that the baby is Louis's. Oh, Blair. Don't you know that the truth always comes out on the UES? .......I think the UES would do well to learn from Pretty Little Liars' Ali DiLaurentis: two can keep a secret only if one of them is dead.)

Dancing In The Dark

I promised a song, so here you go. It's a pretty old song, but it's good. And has hidden undertones of female empowerment, if you can read between the lines and figure out what it's really about. Dev's solo album is also set to drop November 1st, and I'm definitely curious to see whether it's really a "solo" album or whether it's mostly collaborative (some people just lend themselves better to background vocals... is Dev one of them? Stick around to find out.). But I suggest checking it out, Dev sounds promising in all her collabs (Far East Movement, the Cataracs, Demi Lovato...) so far, at the very least.

Click the link!

School and my internships (I now have two! The first one's over at http://www.emcblue.com/, and I have a second one with http://www.hercampus.com/ now, which is amazing. Head on over to both pleaseee!) have kept me SO busy. Which really explains the lack of posts around here. I really miss posting personal stuff here though, so I'll try to come back and get back to updating both here and over at my Wordpress blog SOMEWHAT regularly. I also sort of have a Lovelyish blog, which I don't really update (I applied for the internship, and had to write sample pieces.) I'm really too busy to update this, Lovelyish, Wordpress, and keep on top of Her Campus and EmcBlue and still manage 16 credits. So I'm basically going to stick to the latter 3. I might kill my Lovelyish blog at some point anyway, and just morph my blog here and over at Wordpress into an actual website that I can update semi-regularly. I'm also THINKING (haven't made up my mind) about contributing to the campus newspaper, the Observer, and I also have an interesting love-life-boy situation going on right now (that's all I'll say about that, I'll avoid divulging personal details in a very public forum. But I'm happy and in love with the boy -for the most part. Things are more complicated than that but for now I feel blessed to have him in my life.) Still trying to manage a social life too, which is a little harder, since I absolutely love my suitemates and would love to go out with them and just party and chill every single night of the week. Alas, schoolwork. I still need an A in bio, which is really what prevents me from updating my blogs more, and joining the newspaper, and I can't even give as much attention to the boy as I would like (and he can't either. Priorities...)

Lesson of the day here is that you should all really manage your time wisely and invest it in projects that really matter (yes, boys matter. To a point.) But your future matters MORE, because your future is what you make of it, and it will always be there, even if/after the boy leaves. Don't neglect the future for the right now, but also don't forget to enjoy the present -the boy- because you were too busy worrying about the aspects of the future that you have no control over anyway. Capiche? Good. Then click on the link below to check out a highly relevant blurb I posted over at my Lovelyish blog (it's very Lovelyish material so that was the first place I thought of posting.) I would repost here, but I'm out of time, so just click the link. I shall also throw out a song of the day right after this... just because I feel guilty I haven't been here in a while.

http://neha.lovelyish.com/755862386/-the-21st-century-is/

xo

Because of You

This song is beautiful, but the music video is even more amazing and beautiful. So heartwarming, really. I think Kelly Clarkson was one of Idol's only real talents, except for maybe Jordin Sparks and Carrie Underwood. A Moment Like This beats everything by a huge mile though. American Idol today really has no talent; none of the contestants really make it big anymore - it's like America's Next Top Model: interesting to watch but of no real significance. Additionally, I have an obsession with string cheese. [That was me fulfilling the randomness quota of the day. And yes, this is the SOTD.]

Expect a couple of dorm photos soon, just because I think our mural (on a pink bedsheet) is the cutest, even though it's incomplete. Kudos to my suitemate, Priya <3

Midterm season and hell week is kicking off, and work's busy as usual (http://www.emcblue.com/) so I wouldn't expect major updates, but I'll try to post random quirky/cute/interesting things if I see them, especially photos or just little things I come across. Also, go check out http://www.lovelyish.com/ - I would embed the links to make them look pretier like I always do but I'm in a hurry (sorry). I love the Lovelyish blog though - it's so cute yet relevant and I can read it quickly on the go since the articles aren't (usually) long!

Can I also just say that I LOVE NYC. I've been there WAY too often this month :| Not a good thing, wallet-wise, but I'm just SO in love with the city. Especially the Platters cart on 53rd & 6th, and all of 5th Ave... and I found the CUTEST little shoe shop that sells AMAZING 4 to 5-inch heels for only $38 - which actually isn't all that expensive for heels if you're buying one or two pairs a month, and the guy gave me a $15 discount last time when I bought two pairs of heels together, shhhh. I got the cutest ones too, I might put up pictures sometime. Hahah my spending habits SUCK, please don't emulate them. But the shop is cute, all you New Yorkers should check it out when you have the time. Just don't overspend!

I hope you guys love the video as much as I do; I think Kelly's so pretty too. More later! =)

Deathtrap Fashion

Since this IS a style blog, I love to share the crazy, the wacky, and the plain NUTJOB style choices surfacing around the York Fashion Week. Lady Gaga, the pioneer of all new questionable fashion choices, allegedly took a tumble in this concoction of a shoe below:

Thoughts? Would you guys be on board with a shoe like this? I'm personally a huge fan of high heels, but I probably wouldn't risk these death traps for the sake of fashion. My fashion's gotta be comfortable. However, I would love to walk a few paces in these shoes just to see what it felt like to be Mother Monster for a day. Maybe I could don a pink wig to complete the look! Or electric blue, since bubblegum-pink is more Katy Perry's MO than Gaga's. Or I could just go bleach blonde. Still. I would not buy these shoes, even with a knockoff pricetag. I wouldn't even know how to walk in these if I tried.

The One That Got Away

Hi guys. I know I've been massively neglecting my blog lately. I've been too busy blogging for work, fixing up my dorm room, keeping up with homework and readings and papers this semester, and to top it all off I've had some issues with my friends. Basically people at school who I thought were my friends really don't actually like me, and really just bitch behind my back about me. It's especially annoying that some of the bitches don't like me because "I'm not pretty or good-looking". Shallow, stupid much? Honestly, I know they're not worth being friends with and I know who my real friends are (pity most of them aren't at school I guess....) but yeah I'm trying to stay positive. Excuse my language in this post, by the way. It's been a long week. On a side note, I plan on getting a new tattoo (finger tat) soon -probably a small dragonfly wrapped around my finger. Or a crumpled butterfly. Both images mean a lot to me and are exceedingly personal. On another note, Fashion's Night Out in NY was AWESOME; I bought 3 new pairs of heels and so many new clothes :) More on that later!!

In this post... well I'm going to leave you with two things: A music video of a song I'm obsessed with, and a link to very pretty nails :)

The Link to Lace-patterned nails (in case you're just as tired of the crackled tips look as I am):
http://www.lovelyish.com/754909951/beauty-how-to-lace-patterned-nails-/

Music video to Katy Perry's The One That Got Away:


It's a very chill, mellow, lazy-or-productive Sunday-afternoon sort of song. Katy's voice is super mellifluous and sorrow-filled, longing, unwavering, and super genuine throughout the whole song. I think this song earned a top ten for several weeks on the charts :) It's too late and I'm too tired to look up the stats properly :| I'm tired and busy and my feet hurt from my sky-high heels that I trekked around NYC in for FNO last night, so I'm gonna skip the long rant I usually go on while I wax poetic about why I love a music video or song so much, but I really hope you guys enjoy the song! -Sidenote: Love You Like A Love Song by SelGo gets stuck in my head really easily. I've had it in my head ALL DAY, ever since I heard it on the commercial for the Dream Out Loud collection exclusively for KMart... lol.

3OH!3 -SOTD (Song of the day)

Hi guys. I know I promised a whole lotta posts. I was supposed to fill in a bunch of posts, and I'll get to cleaning up previous Blogger posts, shortening/eliminating the rants. I've just been busy with my new internship (!!!), sorta applying for others (since I could probably handle 2 this semester), cleaning and packing for college (move-in day in 4days), preparing for Hurricane Irene (Hurricanes and Earthquakes are SO not even supposed to happen in New Jersey, let alone on the East Coast.....). I still need to look up a list of my teachers/textbooks so that I can rent them all (RENT, don't buy, children), I need to take a closer look at my sociology textbook for this upcoming semester, I need to write an article for my internship that's been sitting in my head for a couple days (about Trace Cyrus and Brenda Song's upcoming preganancy... uh, didn't see that one coming, but Congrats, Aunt Miley! For all her personal questionable choices, Miley actually seems like she'll be a great, supportive role model that'll teach her nephew/neice how to stand up for his/herself and get what he/she wants out of life. Awesome, eh? Sounds like Miley will teach the kid independence.) I also STILL need to visit a dentist (yeah, my tooth fell out -oops... it was an accident and it looks terrible, I just really haven't had the time to go to the dentist on account of jetlag and a messy room and everything. Gotta go ASAP, but unfortunately leaving the house is gonna be impossible this weekend -thanks, Irene.) OH and I have meetings scheduled on Monday, and Wednesday, and I need to go clothes and laptop shopping -I have enoough money for one new; I'll probably get it shipped to my new dorm within the first week of school! Since this blog's kinda slipped to the back of my mind lately, I'll throw y'all a filler post with a song of the day. For those curious, yes, this song was featured during the first few moments of the Pretty Little Liars pilot episode. Can't wait to catch the mid-season summer finale of that, by the way. It's a cute, upbeat song by 3OH!3 (check out their song "We Are Young" featured on Hellcats too, by the way! I hope you guys enjoy it :)

Congratulations, Lizzie !

I'm missing my cute Wordpress background! Time to head back there, maybe? Maybe I really should flesh out and develop that blog more... or just go ahead and get my own website and merge all posts together... I'm also going to start tagging ("labeling") these posts; I know I've been ignoring tags up until now... I wonder why I've been doing that actually. I'm also going to do a blog-cleanup within the next couple of days, and fill out or delete and generally clean up old posts that might flow really confusingly (I do tend to ramble; I apologize :P). I have a great couple of posts lined up though, so let's get started!

First though, quick news that I found out about over at the lovely Lovelyish.com : Clothing brand Abercrombie & Fitch, who previously blasted the infamous Jersey Shore cast for wearing their brand (I guess the brand doesn't want their image being connected to the not-amazing image of the Shore crew?), has now released a GTL t-shirt, possibly looking to boost sales and revenue through Jersey Shore's popularity. I definitely understand how that's a bit hypocritical, and Pauly D said as much over Twitter: "Hmmm if they don't want us to wear those clothes why make GTL shirts" ...maybe because the world is a pretty selfish place, Pauly.

On to the juice: Growing up is confusing. It's been said, it's been done, it's been sung about and danced about and talked about to death. But what I remember about growing up is that I learned so much about it from Disney show Lizzie McGuire starring Hilary Duff of course. (Is it just me or is Hilary the only Disney star who matured gracefully, tastefully and without any major scandal? She ended up an entrepreneur, charitable, in love, married, and is now happily pregnant!) I remember always wanting amazing friends like Gordo and Miranda and wanting that kind of trio thing in general (I had a best friend, never a trio... the closest I came to a trio was fifth grade, which pretty much failed in the worst way possible; I'm not friends with either of the other two-thirds of the trio now.). I remember wishing for understanding, sweet parents like Lizzie's, and I used to quote cartoon-Lizzie to my mom every day. "You're ruining my life!", though dramatic, was something I realized every teen really did say to their parents more-or-less every day (thank you, Lizzie!) I was such a typical teenager in every sense possible, it actually makes me laugh, but I legitimately thought my situation was unique. I laugh about all the theatrics that I put people through now, and some of them were bratty, so plenty were actually funny and oh-so-typical. In light of all of us having grown up past those moments into mostly mature, changed, enlightened individuals, and in light of Hilary Duff's pregnancy (wonder if she'll give her kid a normal name?), I thought I'd list the top sweetest/funniest/most potent "growing up" moments that there were on Lizzie McGuire.

turn it around everyday

There's so much new stuff coming out soon! Here's a little recap of everything shiny, bright and new to come this fall.

The new ABC Family series based on another one of Sara Shepard's series, The Lying Game premieres today, as does another episode of Pretty Little Liars during its usual timeslot, so I'm super excited for all of that tonight. There's only 30-some odd days until The Vampire Diaries Season 3 premieres on the CW, and that should be an interesting season -the year of the originals, with "Delena", more focus on witches, surprising twists and turns and old love interests galore (Malese Jow as Anna, Kayla Ewell as Vicki and Emily Fields' belle, Samara (Claire Holt) features as Stefan's ex). Gossip Girl's season 5 returns to the air soon as well, after one very long summer away from the Upper East Side. Demi Lovato's new album, Unbroken drops on September 20th, and I'm so excited to hear her amazing new soulful sound, debuted on Skyscraper. Big Time Rush's new album releases later this year in November, too, and that should be exciting. For anyone keeping up, a new iCarly episode dropped just two days ago- iLost My Mind, kicking off Volume 5 of the ever-popular show. One of my favorite bands, Every Avenue (featured in an earlier post with the video for song "Tell Me I'm A Wreck"), recently dropped their new album, Bad Habits.

Caught up? Great. The release of so much new music especially really made me question what kind of music I like. I love pop-grunge-alt-rock, bordering on hard rock for sure (I really wish I could catch The Pretty Reckless in tour, or that they would release a new album.) but I've realized that I also love softer power ballads far too much too. The skill to play piano is one that I really wish I had (though it pains me to say that my efforts at learning guitar were derailed by a trip out of town and upcoming things, both good and bad, in my own life.), and so I thought I write a post about a few of my absolute favorite acoustic-y power ballads, some of which are played on piano and others on guitar, but all of which have astounding vocals/talent and truly beautiful messages. Some of these songs I've covered individually before as songs-of-the-day, because I'm thoroughly in love with each and every one of these songs, so I won't do full commentary on any of these songs, but I just want to give them the sort of shout-out these songs and artists deserve, and make a sort of list of some of the best (in my opinion) soft, meaningful, pop-rock power ballads that I think everyone should check out at some point.

-Demi Lovato: Skyscraper
-Kate Voegele: Forever and Almost Always
-Victoria Justice & Leon Thomas III: Tell Me That You Love Me
-The Band Perry: If I Die Young
-Anna Nalick: Drink Me
-Birdy: Skinny Love
-Vanessa Carlton: Who's To Say
-Vanessa Carlton: White Houses
-Vanessa Carlton: Ordinary Day
-Victoria Justice: A Thousand Miles
*This last cover by Victoria Justice is even more talented than the original version by Vanessa Carlton, which was absolutely amazing to begin with. Victoria Justice is actually a really bright, inspiring, aspiring star in the music industry... can't wait to see what her upcoming solo album sounds like, too.

Make sure to check out some of these amazing songs for your own sake -you won't be sorry; they're absolutely beautiful. My current favorite of them all is definitely Kate Voegele's Forever and Almost Always, just because it's so honest, so expressive and so relatable -every girl can relate to the emotions offered, evoked and stirred by the song, much like a Taylor Swift song without all the idealism and/or excessive bitterness. (Idealism and bitterness are so mutually inclusive; can't have one without the other, whereas happiness and sadness are both necessary in order to feel the full impact of the other, but they don't coexist -when you're happy you're not sad. But you can't be an idealist without being bitter, and if you're bitter about life, chances are that on some level you're an idealist whose idealistic dreams have been tossed around by reality.)

That's all for now though; be back soonish.

Forever and Almost Always

So the story goes on down the less-traveled road
It's a variation on the one I was told
And although it's not the same
It's awful close, yeah

In an ordinary fairytale land
There's a promise of a perfect happy end
And I imagine having just sort of that
Is better than nothing

So you'll be mine
Forever and almost always
And I'll be fine
Just love me when you can...
And I'll wait patiently
I'll wake up every day
Just hoping that you still care.

Life is full of conflicting messages. My favorite conflict in love might be between "Some sort of relationship is better than none at all", vs."Never settle for halfway commitment; look for someone who gives you everything they have." I'm not sure which is truer. At times, when I'm feeling strong and independent, like I can do anything if I just stay determined, I feel like I need to wait for someone who'll look at me like I'm their whole world, and I feel like I shouldn't settle for someone who isn't quite right for me or someone who just can't always be there for me. At other times, I feel like I might never meet someone better than the people I've already met. I have so many people in my life who love me. They don't love me all the time, but they love me sincerely all the same. I feel like love, no matter what form its in, should be enough, and I shouldn't be picky in waiting for the "perfect" all-the-time love, because it may never come. Maybe I need to make the best of the love that I have and just appreciate the fact that I'm loved sincerely, and will be loved forever, even if the love isn't mine to have all the time. (This doesn't refer to cheating or being the mistress; it refers to loving someone whose heart you can't have all of the time, but you have their attention and their love some of the time, but you'll have that sometimes-love forever.). I don't know if I'll ever be sure. At some point I may decide that if the connection is genuine, true, and will last forever, I can settle for it, even if I don't have that person's love all the time because of their own personal issues with love and trust and all. Or maybe I'll remain an idealist for good, and keep waiting for that person who can love me forever and all of the time. I guess we'll see. The real reason I'm thinking about all of this is because of a song that I heard, and a story that I read, and I was wondering how to interpret both the story and the song.

Love is love. Is it better to be satisfied with the sincere, sometimes-love that you have, even if it's not the great, perfect all-the-time love? Or is it better to wait for the all-the-time, great, perfect love and never settle for anything less than what you deserve - 100% commitment and attention? To find someone who loves you all the time because they look at you like you're worth it, or to stick with someone who loves you when they can, loves you all the same even though they can't be with the one they truly love, or are incapable of truly making love into a real commitment? Finding love is half the battle; any form of true love is a near-fairytale, but it's not the perfect fairytale if you can't have that love all the time. Part of me says to stop looking for the ultimate fairytale and hold sacred the love that I have, while part of me tells me I'll find a more consistent, a more stable kind of love too. This might make more sense if you read the story and listen to the song.
The song itself released a couple years ago, but I never really got around to listening to it I guess. It's beautiful though. It's by Kate Voegele, who also played the role of aspiring singer-songwriter Mia Catalano on One Tree Hill. Mia is a televised representation of Kate's own reality, and the show is really the inspiration for a lot of Kate's songs. It's a beautiful, beautiful, very honest song that I love. It makes me question a lot about love and life, and I hope it makes you think too.

Is having just short of the fairytale really better than nothing, or would that mean settling for less than you deserve, because everyone deserves their perfect fairytale?
I wonder. The song leans towards finding someone who can love you always, but I say, in typical slightly cynical fashion, that maybe we ought to be more satisfied with the sincere love we have, even if it is only part-time due to personality and other issues, not due to another person. The jury's definitely still out, and if I ever figure out my personal love life or even how to be happy in life in general I'll keep y'all updated. I guess the biggest issue in humanity is that no one really knows what they want long-term outside of the materialistic box. Everyone knows what they don't want, but no one really knows what they want in terms of life or love (realistically; wanting the fairytale love life isn't an adequate answer past the generous age of 9). When I figure out what I really want -a strong independent life vs, keeping my friends in my life no matter the personal cost/pain, or a strong independent life vs. the fairytale romance, etc- I'll let you know. For now, suffice it to say that I'm confused, but still forging ahead and trying to figure it out and make the best of the opportunities that I do have (sidenote: I really need to stop sabotaging myself and seize the long-term opportunities that I have instead of focusing on instant gratification -which is another fatal human flaw, really. This is the semester I get things together academically and professionally and even personally, instead of just socially. Pinky promise.)
I'll post the link to the story after I've gotten permission from the author to do so, and you can head over to iTunes and buy the song "Forever and Almost Always" in the meantime :)

Walking Fashion Fail: Miley Cyrus Edition

I seriously love fashion fails. They're super entertaining and just makes me wonder what the person was thinking when they walked out their door, whether they're celebrity or not. Moreover, celebrity fashion fails are a great hands-on lesson for the rest of us, and remind us of styles that never, ever, ever look good, regardless of who these unfortunate styles are sported by. So without further ado...
Walking Fashion Fail: Miley Cyrus Edition! I have to say that I personally do admire a lot of things about Miley Cyrus (especially her current net worth. The girl makes more than most teen stars, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato and Miranda Cosgrove included... in fact, Justin Bieber is the one who's currently raking in just as much as Miss Cyrus, with his girlfriend running a close third.), including her music and her perseverance and her ability to stay in the Hollywood grind for years, but some of her choices over the years, both wardrobe and otherwise, have definitely been questionable. But of course, teenage years are the time to make questionable choices and get away with them, but for now, lets take a look at what some of Miss Cyrus' most questionable off-stage style choices have been.
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I think I have to start with one of the worst of them all. Miley definitely went the Britney Spears route with this unfortunate crotch shot. Perez Hilton, famous gossip blogger, actually came under a major blitz of fire for uploading this picture of a then-minor - Miley was only 17-years-old at the time this photo was snapped. Perez's photo was blasted as being child pornography, as Miley chose to forgo her underwear and her private bits were very clearly on display in the original picture. The gossip website subsequently took the offending photo down, but blacked out versions have been circulating the web ever since. This is definitely a repeat lesson: going pantyless is NEVER an option, and crotch shots are offensive, disturbing and career-destroying (unless Playboy is the eventual goal). Paps should know better than to assault our eyes with such photos, but celebrities like Miley or Britney should know better than to step out sans underwear. I apologize if anyone was offended by the picture, but I can't sugarcoat the truth; it is what it is!
You can argue all you want that this, to the left, is a dress worn by Miss Cyrus; I still say that she forgot her pants on the red carpet. Props to her for her makeup though; the clean, minimalist look is very elegant and chic, and makes Miley look grown-up in a classy way.
Below: Um, wow. I have no words for this. First of all, what is it with celebs exposing all when getting out of their cars?! That shot is verging on capturing Miley's vajay-jay once again, and that's something we most definitely do not need to see. Enough with the crotch shots, please. (Is it just me, or does she look oddly thin - especially her legs -in this shot?) Secondly: Please, for the love of all that is couture, repeat after me: Tights/Leggings ARE NOT PANTS. And those teeny-tiny shorts that look like underwear really do not make the situation any better. Pants have NEVER been optional, and this fact has really got to stop being a repeat offender. Lastly... that's not a rip in the side of her dirty-looking T-shirt. That's a deliberate cut with clean edges, not an accidental hole. That deliberate cut exposes a whole lot of side-boob and underwiring. I have to wonder whether this was Miss Cyrus' intention as a plea for more attention, or whether she just likes the exposed look. Either way, this outfit just needs to be burned immediately.
This t-shirt below was exhibited by Miley while out to a casual lunch in LA with her mother and sister, Tish and Noah respectively. Clearly, Miley opted to go braless in the heat, which can be a very practical and classy idea, but Miley managed to take it straight through classy to trashy with her nipples so obviously poking through the thin white tee. Apparently she was oblivious to the stares of passerby, too. I don't actually get the cut shoulders, either. What I can't believe is that Mama Cyrus would actually be okay with this outfit, casual lunch or not. If I left the house with my nipples in plain view... well I don't think I'd actually ever do that, but my mother would so not be okay with it. Additionally, take a look at how 10-year-old Noah Cyrus seems to be taking style cues from her older sister:
This family photo was snapped during the same outing to lunch in LA. Miley's nips are slightly less obvious, and Mrs. Cyrus looks fairly decent, dressed up in black, but Noah Cyrus' black bra peeking out of her gray tank top is another matter entirely. It's a look that follows big sister Miley's style a little too closely, with the black bra playing peek-a-boo (is a 10-year-old even ready for a bra?!), and the slightly-more-decent-than-Miley's Daisy Dukes. How does Tish not seem to mind OR notice either of her daughters' attires?! One is only 10, for crying out loud... oh, wait. Maybe this is why Tish doesn't seem to mind:
Tish sure seems to enjoy dressing like an older version of Miley, instead of like an actual adult. I definitely understand that everyone has their sweatpants days, and Miley and Tish might be out on a casual coffee run or on their way back from the gym for all I know, but while Miley might be young enough to get away with a tank top and sweatpants in Hollywood's public eye, I don't think Tish should be awarded that same luxury. She should be dressing like a role model for Miley, not following Miley's style choices. However, it must be noted that this outfit is overall not one of Miley's worst choices, and even Tish looks like a rather hot, though age-inappropriate mama. Miley's mom has got it goin' on!
Leather pants and LAX are a highly unflattering combination, and leather pants in general still do not qualify as pants. The leatherette hobo bag is actually pretty cute though.







If you read the T-shirt at the left carefully, you'll see "Cheap Trick" reprinted about half a dozen times. I don't quite understand why anyone would really advertise themselves as a cheap trick on or off-stage, but whatever floats Miley's boat. I'll admit she certainly looks "cheap" in this shirt -in all possible definitions of the word.
Tattered hose are still not pants, and Miley's too-short Daisy Dukes are BARELY, BARELY, BARELY visible beneath her surprisingly stylish and low-key plaid button-up. Her combat boots are cute too, but none of this makes up for the fact that Miley has apparently decided to treat the world as Pants: Optional (it sounds like something Chandler or Joey would say from Friends!!)

If it's cold enough to wear those chunky, fringed boots at the left, then it is definitely not hot enough for barely-visible Daisy Dukes. Miley sure commits a lot of Daisy Dukes infractions, doesn't she? Daisy Dukes can be super cute and flattering, but wear them wisely -not like Miley. Her hair looks cute, but that's about all that's forgivable. Please, girls: UGGS/any type of chunky boot + short shorts/miniskirt = NO. Her friend's crossbody bag is amazing, but those jeans/leggings overshot artfully hippie-ripped and went straight to homeless-looking. Props for the supportive "To Write Love On Her Arms" tee though - it's cute and chic, and for a cause. Bravo.
Miley seems to be taking a lot of performance cues from Miss Spears (I wonder if we'll see Miley lip-synch?), and while that on-stage outfit isn't really the craziest or most risque we've ever seen from performers (Lady Gaga's egg was insane), that's still got to be one hell of a wedgie... the wedgie that couldn't be tamed.











I'm actually on the fence about this look to the left.Yes, her black bra is peeking out of her white lace vest, and to be honest, a showing bra is nothing new for Cyrus, but this time I feel she pulls off the sheer look tastefully. The bra peeks out subtly, and does cover everything that needs to be covered up top. Black under white is actually a great color combination, and for once the Daisy Dukes aren't too, too short. The cutoffs even look great paired with brown country boots and minimal jewelry... all-in-all, this looks like a winning, casual summer outfit to me, though I know some people hate on the sheer look with bra peeking through. Sheer is all the rage these days though, so I say this look was of Miley's better choices.
The front of this ensemble doesn't look absolutely terrible. Sure, the paint-speckled jeans and the studded boots are a bit much, and definitely too visually distracting, but the front of the greyish-blue shirt at least looks elegant. The back however... YIKES. That's one Halloween project gone tragically, tragically wrong (cobwebs galore!) And I feel like it won't be too long before Miley Cyrus loses the clothes completely, and simply walks around in lingerie like Taylor Momsen.
Not only is such a long train (see below) entirely unnecessary on such a short dress, but it's also a major trip hazard. And the bow just makes the entire concoction look like some sort of melting ice cream cake, or a horrible '90s era prom bomb. The heels, however, are cute, and Miley otherwise looks sophisticated with her minimal makeup and flowing brown-blond hair. Too bad the dress is the main part of the ensemble, and that part simply failed to deliver.
This, to the right, is a wrapping paper mess. It looks like Miley was swallowed whole by Christmas wrapping paper, or by the colorful sticky glittery tape we used to decorate our school binders with. The mermaid-inspired bottom is fresh and youthful, but the the shiny ribbons of color simply fail to deliver a cohesive dress. To be fair, Miley looks much, much younger when this photo was taken at the Country Music Awards - she looks to be about 14, maybe 15, so her unfortunate style choice here can be chalked up to her age and therefore forgiven. However, hadn't Miley been doing Hannah Montana for years at this point? It would make sense, then, that Cyrus had a stylist... this fashion fail, I think, can be attributed to her stylist and not to Miley herself, since she was probably fairly new to the world of red carpet events.
Grandma Cyrus, what's good? That fur collar and matching hemline paired with the curtain-print dress just really does not work for me, and those orthopedic-looking shoes don't elevate the look from "dowdy" and "frumpy" much. Miley looks young here, but this time I think it's fair that she get penalized... this would've been an appropriate time to throw a diva fit and refuse to wear this dress in public.
Love the shoes in the picture on the right, but is that a flower-embroidered gold-edged apron on top of her LBD? It looks more like a quirky French maid outfit than a dress befitting an appearance at a public event. Overall, the dress is confusing and has no discernible concept other than French Maid... Someone get the girl a stylist, on the double. Props to Miley for having a great, very natural looking tan though and beachy hair to complement the tan.
That, on the left, looks like a frilly tablecloth mess. Miley might have taken the concept of "Black Tie Affair" too far, and the menswear-inspired top half, with the undone bowtie and black accents doesn't pull the dress together in a flattering way. The high collar just doesn't work at all. The garment is overall shapeless and baggy, and the bottom half just looks like yards of lacy white tablecloth, not a dress.











This concludes another edition of Walking Fashion Fails! There are so many that I couldn't even pick a few favorite instances of Miley's epic fashion fails, so I had to include all of these. I'll throw out something positive next post with a celebrity who constantly looks chic, no matter the occasion, but at the end of the day it's important to remember that everyone messes up and makes style mistakes from time to time. However, when mistakes start repeating themselves too often, these mistakes become a choice, and some style faux-pas can't even be categorized as "mistakes" --making underwear optional is a choice.
Until next time, xo

Walking Fashion Fail: Rihanna Edition

FIRSTLY, a quick shoutout: Miranda Cosgrove's tourbus actually crashed less than 4 to 5 hours ago, and all parties involved sustained some minor injuries, including Miranda herself. Miranda suffered a broken ankle, but it'll make a full recovery, and the people in and surrounding the parked vehicle that her tourbus clipped were airlifted to hospital almost immediately and are also expected to make a full recovery as of now. Of course the tour has been indefinitely postponed until her ankle heals, but #getwellmiranda was a trending topic on Twitter no less than 12 minutes after the incident occurred. It's not life-threatening, and there are many more important things to be thinking about (London Riots, for instance, it's all so pointless, and possibly more on that later), but shoot a quick tweet with the hashtag getwellmiranda if you like, or not. Former co-star and Nickelodeon buddy Victoria Justice tweeted her well wishes earlier as well (is it just me or is Twitter the new Hallmark/support system outlet along with being the typical venting outlet? It seems to work!). That's about it by way of tangents for today, I guess.
In other, more personal news, Walking Fashion Fails - and conversely, Consistently Chic Celebs is a new column kind of thing I'm thinking of trying out. Fashion Police is getting called out more and more often each day, so I'll talk about some of my favorite fashion fails and celebrity chic moments on here. This is the first post in this new idea!
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A lot of people, fashion 'experts' among them, continuously claim that Barbadian singer Rihanna's outfits are bold, flashy, colorful and attention-grabbing, all of which leads to Ri-Ri looking fashionable and stylish. While I agree that Rihanna's bold wardrobe choices get her noticed and talked about, I'm not sure that any of the attention is for the right reasons. From nip-slips to unflattering sheer/pantsless looks to ridiculous bondage getups on a casual day out, her parade of impractical and downright strange looks never ends. The worst of it is that Rihanna hasn't managed to base her entire image around her impractical and ridiculous outfits a la Lady Gaga, nor does Ri manage to pull off her risque and crazy outfits as tastefully and beautifully as Katy Perry does. (Those two stars, in my opinion, are the only two stars of Hollywood that can pull off the crazy outfits they do, ranging from meat dresses and regularly pantsless looks to cat ears and full-on leotards in daylight, and STILL look classier than girls in ballgowns. Just sayin') One thing's for sure, though: I'm definitely going to LOVE writing the Walking Fashion Fail (and Consistently Chic Celebs) columns!
Now then. Have a look at, in my opinion, what are some of Rihanna's most entertaining, most iconic, most RIDICULOUS fashion flops (with commentary, of course!)
This barely-there sheer Jean Paul Gaultier that Rihanna sported to the 2011 Grammy affair was one of the most talked-about parts of the entire evening, eclipsing many other well-dressed stars' attires. The dress really does Rihanna no justice. It leaves too little to the imagination, and overall looks like an overconfettied, layer-cake abomination - like a Christmas decoration project gone wrong. And that much skin at a classy affair? Fashion faux pas for sure. I know some people have tried to defend this Grammy choice as a classy, minimalist and elegant one, but I just don't see it... if Ri wanted minimalist and elegant, she should've taken tips from Jen Aniston's stylist, not the Royal Wedding Cake.

Real classy. She should've taken some cues from Katy Perry on classy, cute nipple covers. As young as Ri-Ri looks in the picture on the right, the Kids Choice Awards are still a public event... and hasn't Rihanna had a stylist for years now? Maybe we give celebrities too much flak for their fashion fails, and not enough smack to their stylists for letting them go out in public in these eyesores.

Repeat after me: Pants are not optional. I'm actually, honestly not sure what's worse, this pantsless mess of an ensemble, OR...


...THESE pants.Yeah, I cringed too. It's a beach (albeit an elegant one), so I understand the bikini-top and won't deduct any penalty points for it (it actually manages to cover her cleavage in a decent and flattering way! Shocker.), but there is NO excuse for exhibiting those striped monstrosities outside the bedroom.

I would let that slide on-stage. On-stage outfits are meant to be risque and revealing, a la Madonna, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Katy Perry, Katarina Graham, and of course, Mama Monster, Lady Gaga herself. However, Rihanna needs to check her superhero fantasies at the door before she walks out into public with her underwear on top of her "pants". That, of course, is fashion violation #2: Leggings are NOT pants. Yes, italicizing and bolding and capsing the "not" was extremely necessary. The leggings-as-pants look is one "trend" that needs to go away NOW. (Couture has been screaming for this trend to go away literally for ages, but it somehow keeps resurfacing like an unsquishable bug. Thankfully it's been relegated to the "weekly worst dressed" list and college campuses (where we are trying to get it banned, make no mistake) for quite some time now, and is no longer seen in high fashion circles.
This one is not as bad as the others, but that train is seriously a trip hazard, and the sideways baseball cap is harmless but unnecessary, and Rihanna's bright red hair would actually look much better without it. The red and white contrast would look amazingly striking with the refreshingly normal Chuck Taylors and minimal jewelry.

Is that Grandma Rihanna to the left? That's just a misshapen, granny-looking mess, and those shoes do not belong with those socks. I love pairing ankle socks with cute flats or oxfords myself, but that match is just bad color coordination. Speaking of color combinations gone bad...

The crop top is incredibly unflattering, for one, but the color combination also just does not work with her hair. There's too much color going on, from her gold shoes, to vibrant red hair and fuchsia and orange outfit... one or two colors fewer would've probably allowed our eyes to stop wondering where they should focus.
That has got to be one painful, huge, obviously unattractive cameltoe. Ladies and gentlemen, leather pants: not to be worn off-stage, thanks. Though I have to admit, this would be a great form of birth control - nobody could, or would ever want to, get into pants/boots (seriously, what on earth?) that tight. I'm surprised she's not keeling over dead, what with the lack of airflow to her leg nerves and all (anybody else ever watch that episode of Sonny With A Chance that had SPS -Skinny Pants Syndrome- in it? I've actually felt that super skinny jeans. Imagine leather.)

That is a red carpet, and she is wearing a neon yellow swan princess meets negligee. On a red carpet. Um, that should just not be allowed to happen. Case closed.
What is it with Rihanna getting her style inspiration from pastry chefs, anyway? Below she looks like a melting, deconstructed vanilla cake. The lace edges of the dress look like they're fraying, and the gloves are completely unnecessary on anyone besides Kate Middleton and the Queen. There is nothing elegant about this look besides those shoes, which are actually pretty cute.

I feel like Rihanna's nipples have become a celebrity personality of their very own these days... they're seen and photographed around town more often than their owner, these days! It's said that Rihanna channeled a little bit of Momma Gaga with these star nipple covers, and maybe that's true, but I don't really understand covering the nipple covers underneath the drab, unbuttoned black shirt. Gaga would've let the nipple covers stand out of a leather&lace bustier loud and proud. This looks like a halfhearted attempt to change her image but not really being comfortable with the whole idea of going topless. This photo, snapped in Vegas, clearly puts to bed the idea that "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" - clearly, the adventures of RiRi's nipples did not stay in Vegas... though I think the world wishes they had.

I don't even have words for this. That ensemble on the left doesn't even qualify as a "hot mess". It's just a mess. A sad, pathetic mess. (And the tan bustier? Yeah, not much better than the nipslips.)


So there you have it, guys! This marks the end of our first-ever Walking Fashion Fail post, and I hope you've learned (and remembered - seriously: leggings are not pants!) a lot of lessons over the course of it. Heads up, I'll do another Walking Fashion Fail episode before I cover a Consistently Chic Celebs post! The WFF will feature America's favorite trainwreck, Miley Cyrus (you all knew it was coming, right?), and the CCC post will cover one of my personal current favorites, Blake Lively.
Until next time, xoxo